I am trying to keep my posts reasonably short, but this one will probably be the longest I ever write. However, I'll try to keep it concise and meaningful, so I hope you'll read the whole thing and feel it was worthwhile.
Deciding to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was a long process and the decision wasn't even 100% final until I stepped into the Missionary Training Center. I was really afraid, but more because of what I DIDN'T know about being a missionary than what I DID know. The first important lesson that I learned, was that God wanted me to serve a mission as long as I had the desire to be a missionary. He was never going to tell me not to serve but I didn't need to wait for some overpowering feeling; serving a mission was an honorable thing to do and God would continue to help and bless me. I hear a lot of girls that are able to serve missions but haven't, say that they don't feel like they need to go. My response is that you don't have to wait for God to tell you to go because He already wants you to. Why wouldn't he? He needs missionaries and if you can be one and you are committed to Him, then He will be happy to have you as a missionary. I struggled with this need for divine intervention, and God definitely gave me the signs I needed to push me along, but those signs aren't necessary to make the decision.
The next thing that I wish I would've known was how much fun I would have as a missionary. Sure, there were tough days, but I had fun every day of my mission. I loved talking to people, getting to know them and understand their lives. I loved making friends with local church members and other community members. I had a blast getting to know my fellow missionaries and my mission presidents and their families. And even over four years after my mission, I am still having a blast with my mission friends. I've done a lot of exciting things in my life and I worried that my 18 months as a missionary would be dull. Those 18 months were anything but dull! Every day was an adventure! I truly and honestly had the time of my life as a missionary.
Another major fear I had was how well I would get along with my missionary companions. I worried that I would go crazy being with another female 24/7 for 18 months. I had nothing to worry about! God knows us and He knows who we need in our lives. Jessica Gutierrez, Erin Capone, Carla Lopez, Mary Wollenzien, Lisa Fisher, and Liesen Parkus are my sisters for eternity. I am so happy that I don't have to live my life without knowing these wonderful women. I shared experiences with them that encompass every human emotion and I am a MUCH better person because I know them and served with them. These girls know my soul and I am grateful to them for deciding to serve missions so we could be companions. (It's possible this paragraph is making me tear up a little bit.) And as if having amazing companions wasn't enough, I was extremely blessed to serve in a Visitors' Center and get to know about forty other amazing women that I count as some of my best friends.
I've never been scared of meeting new people or sharing my beliefs, but I never expected to love the people I taught the Gospel to as much as I did and still do. If I could have felt even a fraction of the love God would give me for these people, I would have begged to go on a mission! They become your family and you become a member of theirs. The bond you form is truly a heavenly gift and is hard to describe in words. It changes your life.
My biggest fear by far was that I would miss my chance to get married if I served a mission and was out of the dating world for 18 months. Most of you know that I met Tyler on my mission (in the MTC), so knowing that before my mission would have definitely helped :) But more meaningful than meeting Tyler, was learning how to choose a good life partner for myself. If I wouldn't have learned that, meeting Tyler wouldn't have done much good. I thought I had the whole spouse selection thing all figured out before my mission, being 24 and very wise. I quickly learned how unprepared I was to make that monumentally important decision. Over the course of my mission, from various people (mission presidents, companions, church leaders, other missionaries), I came to understand the things I valued most in a partner and vowed I would wait to marry until I could have the kind of partnership I knew would make me eternally happy. I also strengthened my relationship with the Lord through prayer, which improved my decision making process with Him.
As you can tell, I can go on and on but I don't want to make this post so long that no one will read it :) What I hope is that girls that have given a mission even a fleeting thought, will read this and have a positive impression for what a mission can do for them. Before serving a mission, most of the return missionaries I knew were guys. No woman in my family had ever served a mission and I wasn't close to any girls that had, so hearing some of these things beforehand might have calmed my fears. I don't discount the many influences that helped me make the decision to serve. I am forever grateful to those people and I hope you know who you are.
I believe in Jesus Christ and He is why I chose to be a missionary. It was a privilege to try to represent Him honorably and it is an experience that has changed me forever. Speaking to anyone considering a mission, I tell you this, you will never regret it.
